Help is on the way dear.

Help. Help is something that we have always been programmed since day one to ask for, whether it was for something you couldn't reach when you were too small, or when you got older and were in a difficult situation. Help is always there, you just have to ask for it. Its easier said than done though right?. I struggle, we all struggle. In a world where we are told to lean on others its hard to do that when the one person you leaned on the most for help and guidance has been taken from your life. My mother was my person, the one who helped me in all types of difficult and strange situations. When she died, that support was taken from me and in a time where I would need her the most. So there I was, stuck. I didn't know what to do anymore, who to talk to, where to put all the messed up and confused thoughts about the impossible place I was in. I had family, 3 sisters and I had a step-dad- but that's a story for another time, plus I had my girlfriend of 4 years- some would say options were in abundance there, but I so wish that was the case. We were all grieving, me, my sisters and even my partner, me and my sisters had gone from not really speaking to having to talk and force a relationship of reliance between us that we never really had before, so help was there for the taking you could say, but I never wanted to ask, and that was my problem. I looked at my options as I wasn't ready to share my fears and stresses with my sisters knowing they were dealing with grief too, so, I decided to choose an external route, help from someone who didn't know me and wasn't grieving the same person I was- it just felt easier. I chose to call a place local to me, a charity based in Wakefield, West Yorkshire that provides mental health support in a female only setting. Its Called the Well Woman Centre, I would highly recommend. Its a place that feels comfortable to me and judgement is non existent but support is extremely high. I put myself on a self referral waitlist and I honestly felt like it was the first step into helping myself and focussing on me. The sessions are once a week, and once a week i get to express my feelings and emotions surrounding my mams death and the fallout afterwards without judgement, without tit for tat- which is what I would get off my sisters, it was nice. It was me helping myself with the help of others. I realised recourses are out there for you, for all types of situations that you may come across in your life, the first step to accessing them is to just admit you need help and that's okay. I can honestly say that therapy is a taboo topic in most peoples vocab, as if you have to be off your rocker to need something like that, but its not true, therapy is an outlet, its a place to express your concerns and talk about your feelings, its great- don't get me wrong its not for everyone, but if you don't try, you wont know so I suggest seeing what's local to you, in person or online and having a look at what options these places offer. Get it off your chest. Check out my recourses page and click the links on some of the options there, I've put links to charity based counselling and mental health services. A grief shared is often a grief halved.